Friday, April 23, 2010

Jesus Wept

I followed the NFL draft last night with one purpose: just to make sure the Broncos wouldn't take Tim Tebow.

Understand, I don't care about his personal beliefs, however much we may have to hear about them. If a player can help the Broncos, I don't care if his name's Hitler Stalin and he worships his own feet.

I do care about the fact that at best, he projects to be an average quarterback, and the Broncos already have Kyle Orton and Brady Quinn filling that role. And I have a natural aversion to players that may suffer from a surplus of publicity.

So, followed the draft, and when the Broncos picked someone not named "Tebow" at #22, I let out a sigh of relief, turned everything off and went to read.

Then I woke up to this.


Now, I'm a magnanimous guy, and I look at this as a chance for god to make up for one of his big screw-ups (see footnote on linked post). So I'm going to make a deal: if Tim Tebow leads the Broncos to a Super Bowl championship -- I will go to church.

And -- what the hell, I'm feeling generous -- if he leads them to a SECOND Super Bowl championship, I will go to church A SECOND TIME.

For disclaimer purposes: definition of church is rather loose, and may include mosques, airport chapels, or if it's still open, the notorious fetish nightclub on Cheshire Bridge dubbed "The Church."


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Kynan said...

YES! The draft was so fucking weird. The Raiders drafted with relatively cool heads, addressing obvious needs and not grabbing the first idiot who could out-run a horse. Then the Broncos take GodBoy. Granted, if he weren't such a total church wanker, the Raiders probably would've gobbled him up, but ... I've lost my train of thought here. Oh yeah-- screw the Broncos!