Thursday, August 07, 2008
The Ski Bum and I were wrapping up a hike yesterday -- weekly hikes being my major method of trying to counter a primarily beer-and-wing-based diet -- when we came upon an older fellow in a parking lot.
"Can I try out some jokes on you two?" he asked. In the movies, there would be ominous music at this point, but I haven't developed full-time soundtrack capability, so I said sure.
He told us that he was going to be appearing at a comedy club in Boston, and that they'd just legalized gay marriage up there (untrue). He told us two gay jokes of various degrees of awfulness, and while his delivery was good, they were pretty unfunny even if that's your thing. Still, I chuckled politely.
He went on to tell us that he had a deal with a major publisher for three books of jokes, at $50,000 a pop (his story kept changing at this point -- we heard no more about the comedy club) and then, somehow, went from there into explaining that gay marriage was bringing about Sodom and Gomorrah, and end times. Men lying down with men, God doesn't want us to do that, so on. I couldn't really fact-check him on this because it's been a while since I read the Bible and all I really remember is "pillars of salt" and so forth. We stared, made non-committal noises, and then TSB said "well, it'll be good for population control, at least" as we sped away (him saying something to the effect of "thanks for critiquing my sense of humor!" behind us).
Then this morning, I was driving home from an errand and stopped at a stoplight (that's the law, here in Atlanta!). A sort of out-of-it looking guy was wandering through the cars. He walked up to the driver's window of the car next to me, pulled up his shirt, and pulled down the front of his shorts. Then, apparently rebuffed, he readjusted himself and strolled off.