Wednesday, August 23, 2006

This Should Be Good

Whether it's residual Boulder hippiness, or some sort of ill-defined spiritual quest, I'm trying something new for a few days: a "liquid fast." I'm consuming nothing but a strange blend of lemon juice, syrup, cayenne pepper and water, eight-to-twelve times a day.

I've been thinking I should come up with some awesome fake reason for this -- that I'm purifying my mind in advance of hockey season, or that I'm not eating until Lubomir Vaic is back in the NHL, but the mundane reality is that I've been feeling lousy lately, have been eating crap ("nachos" is not a food group, no matter how much I love Monterey Jack cheese. Neither is "beer."), and could stand to lose a little weight.

So, this is a test run -- three or four days. Nothing but the above-mentioned brew (and water). Chew on that for a second -- no booze. I usually measure my time without drinking in hours, not days, so that's a chore. Even more worrying -- no caffeine. My need for coffee makes my alcohol habits look responsible.

A few things I've learned so far: the stuff tastes weird as hell. Not bad, actually. But strange. It also doesn't cure the hangover I earned at a friend's birthday party last night. And I also realize that by the end of this, I'll be equating this brief fast with Bobby Sands' hunger strike.

In preparation for this, I went looking for this guidebook I'd heard about, before realizing that the info was available online (score!). And looking at all the "natural health" books at Borders, I was struck by how unfun they are. Really, I think the market is crying out for books that tout a fun path to health. What do you people think -- will the PPA health series, with titles like "Casual Sex: Your Path to Spiritual Happiness" and "Drink Yourself Thin," sell?


Nanuk of the North said...

Wow. This raises so many questions.

1) Syrup? What kind of syrup? Like Maple Syrup? How can that be good for you? I mean, maple syrup is dee-licious but you don't exactly find it in the health food aisle.

2) Have you ever given up caffeine before? If not, brace yourself for one heckuva headache.

3) I used to think I could make a fortune with a wacky diet book. But then, after a brief search, I saw how many Jesus- and Bible-related diet books are out there, and I gave up. The world lapped me in terms of utter weirdness.

4) Good luck. I predict that in 48 hours you will either be in some kind of blissful zen state, or I'll be watching Larry King talking about your ax-wielding rampage through Atlanta.

gsdgsd13 said...

1) 100% pure maple syrup. (It's important that it be 100% pure, apparently.) I guess it's there to provide some energy. It's just one tbsp -- I'm not taking big swigs of syrup straight from the bottle.

2) the last time I gave up caffeine was when I had pneumonia and had to. This is the first time I've done it while well. And yeah, it sucks. I didn't realize just how dependent I am.

3) I wish I'd taken notes on some of the titles at the bookstore. All sorts of weird shit. There was one on "healthy, holistic beers," but instead of saying "hey, here's where to buy them," it gave you all these horrendous-sounding medieval recipes.

4) if it's the second choice, I trust I can count on all of you for an alibi ("he was blogging at the time").