Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Things I Hate to Admit

As I copped to a post or two ago -- I've gone back to the online dating thing. I'm not sure exactly why I still feel it carries such a stigma -- everyone's doing it, etc etc, but it still feels like I've been assigned to the remedial male-female relationships course.

It shouldn't, sure. Having gone out with a fair amount of girls met both on- and off-line over the past couple of years, the average attractiveness/intelligence is probably pretty similar.

And it really is tougher than hell to meet people here, especially when (like me) you're relatively quiet. Once upon a time, I went through a spate of picking girls up at grocery stores or Borders, enough to garner a sort of reputation for it, right when that wellspring completely dried up. The problems there are of my own making; if I'm going grocery shopping or book shopping, I'm generally dressed in a manner that suggests I list "beachcomber" as my primary occupation. Unshaven and wearing flip-flops doesn't score with the intellectual girl-next-door types I like.

The bar scene doesn't work well either, which is a pity, since I spend most of my time in such establishments. I have a near-unfailing ability to pick out the girl who's married, a lesbian, or seventeen years old, or all three, or none but pretending. Even beyond that, if it's loud, I get irritable and crotchety; if it's quiet and I can rely on my conversational skills, well, I'll have been drinking, which doesn't lead anywhere good. I went through a (much-maligned) period of talking about hockey when stuck for a subject -- one female friend of mine suggested I'd be better off talking about Japanese tentacle porn. Recently, on St. Patrick's Day, I changed tacks and gave an impromptu lecture about the new Palestinian government -- which worked, surprisingly, but I don't really think the "Hamas Gambit" is one to rely upon long-term.

So it's back to the web. I remarked to a friend last night that I've already gone through the usual three stages: 1 - "Shit, I can't believe I'm doing this," 2 - "Hey, there's lots of cute, intelligent girls here!" and 3 - "Another e-mail? Why can't a man get some peace?" So in a matter of weeks, I'll be dropping it again, and then complaining about being single, as the whole stupid cycle begins anew.

(Post title taken from a Victim's Family album. Other things I hate to admit: that I remember the discography of a band I never remotely cared about, but I forget why I went to the grocery store as soon as I enter the front door)


Anonymous said...

Well, I'll never email you again!

Alanah said...

Me neither! :-)

Seriously, Greg. Get a puppy and walk it a lot. Works like a charm.

(Babies work too, but I'm guessing that's more trouble than you want to go to, just to meet a girl...)

gsdgsd13 said...

No dogs alas - my condo complex won't allow them. Plus, with my unfailing eye, I'd find a rabid pooch.

A baby would be an interesting solution, if something of a backwards solution...

Alanah said...

The babies thing has it's weak points, I admit.

I smell a business opportunity here, though. Rent out puppies and babies for single men to stroll with.

Someone could make a fortune!

gsdgsd13 said...

I don't know what sorts of stuff you get up to up in Canada, but here in Georgia, a single man looking to rent babies and dogs would be considered suspicious.

fredoluv said...

if this is some desperate plea to get me to have chatsex with you again...think again.

i'm still recovering from the last time.

gsdgsd13 said...

I'm waiting for your "Balkan Ghosts" review before I ever chat with you again.